"Who Am I" - Jesus

It was kind of funny...Today I was doing some lawn work outside (it's the only place to do lawn work) and I was listening to my sister's Hillsong infested IPOD. About the time that I was sweeping up the down slope, on the left side of our horseshoe driveway these words filled my ears:

You ask me who do I
say that You are, and I
say that you are the Christ,
Son of the living God.

That I will bless the Lord forever,
I'll bless Your holy Name.
Yes I will bless the Lord forever,
I'll bless Your holy Name.

As of late there has been a whole lot of me questioning God. Now, I am not questioning Him to his face so to say...it is more like I am not really getting what is going on, thus resulting in a lot of worry, doubt, anxiety, sleepless nights, etc. If I am honest I would say that I don't trust God. If I was really, really honest I would say that I have made God a lot less then me and I have made myself a whole lot smarter than Him. Dumb Idea!

So anyway, about mid-sweep on the down slope, on the left side of my horseshoe driveway God hit me with the words of that song and then asked me this question.

"Who do you say I am?"

BOMB!

I was hit by a super high speed train, and I am not superman! Again, if I am honest it wasn't that dramatic...it was more of a present (and probably someday future) defining moment. God was putting me and Himself in their respective places.

"Who do you say I am?"

When God asks you that, and you know who He is, you have encountered Him, you know that he works everything out for good, you know that He is doing what is best, you know that He is so much wiser than you, you know that He is in control, and you know that you have not responded to Him how He deserves....when God asks you that there is not much you can say.

So I thought along with the song. YOU ARE THE CHRIST, THE SON OF THE LIVING GOD!

and then He spoke again, a message of ol'.

"If I conquered the grave, if the very thing that is inevitable for every human being [death] could not hold me. I defeated death...."

And that is why we trust Him.
Death itself could not hold Him.
Life Radiates from Him!
He is the source of life, and love, and peace, and hope, and destinies, and....

He knows what He is doing in my life. No matter what I think I cannot make anything any better, I can just mess it up. He is molding my life, He is molding me, He is in control, HE IS (period)

Man, I love lawn work!

Hillsong, Downslope of the left side...

Who do you say He is?

BranDON- The Origin of My Name

So I just found out today how my name came to be what it is. While there are many variations of my name, which include: Branden, Brandan, Brendan, Brendon (I actually have never heard of that one but I’m sure someone probably has it), etc. my name itself, Brandon, came about from a love relationship between my Mom and strapping young lad. You see, the year was 1972 (actually I don’t know the year) and my mother was engaged to be married to this guy....OK, I’m lying. The truth is....this is so embarrassing ...my mom had a crush on Donny Osmond. So, when they went to name me, rather than naming me Brandan, my mom chipped in her two cents and they named me BranDON (as in DONny....as in Donny Osmond). That sucks!

So, seeing that me and D-Money are kind of like brothers I think it would only be right to compare myself with Donny Osmond

Similarities:
- We both at one time in our lives had mullets.
- We are both Caucasian.
- We both have ladies screaming our name when we are on stage.
- We both have dark brown hair.
- We are both US citizens.
- Donny is on reality TV shows, I watch reality TV shows.
- We both have Jesus in our religions.
- I like Joseph, Donny was Joseph.
- My mother loves us equal (that is not true...but it is kind of funny).
- Donny had a song in Mulan, I like Asia

Differences:
- To Donny, Jesus is Satan’s Brother...to me He is not.
- Donny plays in the movie College Road Trip (I saw that when reading his Info.)...I never quite took one (unless you count Asia).
- Being a Mormon, Donny is able to have many women, I can’t keep one.
- When women scream Donny’s name on stage it is usually followed by an “I love you”…when they scream mine it is usually followed by a “get off the stage”
- Donny greases up his hair like a pig at a 4H fair, I let mine go aux naturalle.
- Donny is a white Caucasian, I am not.
- Donny has Marie, I have Kelly and Melissa Shinn.
- Donny is old, I am not….but people still think I am my Mom’s date sometimes (what the heck ?)

So there you have it...my name.

Stories of Old

TRUTH: BTK HOUSE JAM 2

After a year off Truth: The Brandon T. Kightlinger House Jam will continue...

Here is a little taste of this summers topic.


So often the pains and uncertainties that we bear find their greatest relief in the darkness. From a wet pillow holding the pains of a broken childhood to a dark club whose bass pounds our thoughts away as its lights (and the alcohol we consumed) allow us to forget the truth of the world we live in...We are a people who are embraced by the darkness.

There is something about "group"...you know, the "Hi, my name is Brandon and I'm a(n) ___." "Hi Brandon." place...that is real, that is inviting. Although someone may not be an alcoholic, sex, drug, or rock-n-roll addict, it is hard to argue that people don't want to be heard, that people just want someone to be real with.

This summer The BTK HOUSE JAM 2 is taking on a new look. We are gonna be that "group", we are going to be that place and those people that invite people (ourselves included) to be real. This is a place where your deepest, darkest secrets and thoughts can be exposed in the light. There will be no pillows to cry on, but rather the shoulder of a friend, there will be no pounding bass, but instead the silence of captured hearts listening to your story...

There are dreams in you man and woman. There is greatness within you. There is a love that you posses that you never knew you had to offer. Let us break through the darkness that we placed around ourselves for our protection and security. That darkness that we once felt suffocated us but now brings us comfort. Let us see ourselves in the light. Let us see the TRUTH.

This summer we will be meeting on Sunday nights at 5:30 (because let's face it...who has a whole lot to do on Sunday at dinner time?). The locations will vary throughout the summer. We will start at the Gorge Metro Park in Cuyahoga Falls, OH. on Sunday June 8th. Other locations will include the back room of a bar, a hookah bar, an Anglican prayer room, etc.

Get Ready for a great summer of being real and discovering the TRUTH of who you are as GOD sees you.




The first TRUTH: BTK HOUSE JAM 2 will be held on June 8th at 5:30 PM

Location: The Gorge Metro Park. Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio.

The Development of the Changing, Trusting Life - The place where strong men feel weak

"We know what we are, but know not what we may be." - William Shakespeare

The above quote by WS (a quote that I admittedly looked up for the sole purpose of starting this blog) kind of defines my life right now. This past week has brought with it the most change I can remember (at least since my Dad left). I graduated from college (jobless), I left many of my closest friends (we are a phone call away, but a phone does not replace a couch conversations or an assuring, comforting embrace), and I quickly found other areas of my life drastically changing in very little time.

So although I originally placed myself within the pre-comma "we", I must say that this is not entirely true. I feel like it is easier to dream about what I can become than to grasp and get a hold of who I currently am.

I have been reading through Job and I find it so amazing how real Job was. I think it is pretty interesting the contrast between Job and his "friends". On one hand we have Job's friends who thought they knew why everything was happening to Job (Job let them know that they didn't), and on the other hand we have Job who had no idea what was going on in his life. He was hurting, he was confused, he was in pain, he felt abandoned and wronged by God- Job was a broken man. In the midst of this pain and confusion however, we find Job uttering these words:

"But as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and he will stand upon the earth at last. And after my body has decayed, yet in my body I will see God! I will see him for myself. Yes, I will see him with my own eyes. I am overwhelmed with the thought!" (Job 19:25-27 NLT)

In the midst of his pain, in the midst of his confusion, in the midst of his knowledge of God failing to fit with who he knew himself to be, what he knew God to be, and where he was finding himself in the present, Job was taken by the thought of beholding his Redeemer.

In the midst of my circumstances, in the midst of how I feel, in the midst of change and uncertainty, in the midst of shaken dreams- being at a place where the world is still crying to Jesus, a place where there is not always time to know what is going on- I hope that my spirit will match my forced, but not always sincere, cry of "I will trust you Jesus, I will trust you, I WILL TRUST YOU!"

No matter what happens in my life, no matter what happens to my body, no matter what happens in circumstance, I will someday behold my love. I will someday lock eyes with my redeemer. I will bow at the feet of my savior. I will grasp the hand of my healer. I will be pulled to the chest of my comforter. I will understand the reasons of my purpose giver. I will sing to my peace. I will shout victory with my warrior King!

In that moment, that tear drawing moment where time stands still and your heart pounds like it has never pounded before, the pains of this life, the wounds and scars that come from other's actions and my own obedience and disobedience, the worries and anxieties of failed dreams, my failure to fully understand myself or my circumstance...these things will pale, they will cease to be a thought, they will fade away like the darkness at the coming of day. These things that pain me now will someday bring joy, as I find that through them I was brought into my destiny, I received revelation that only brokenness can bring, and I was further molded into the very image of my love.

I am, finding that trusting God is so much harder than having faith!

Faith says "I believe this because it brings me hope, I believe this because it is truth, I believe this because deep inside I want this to be/come/prove true."

Trust says, "Although I don't want this, your will be done. Although this will bring me pain, do what you want. Even though I feel broken, you are greater than I am and you know what is best."

God is definitely teaching me trust.

A little further snapshot on some of the things that ran through my head today:

I am finding that as destiny transfers from dream to reality, fear and uncertainty really creep in.For instance, when you are dreaming about going to the Congo to work with street children, you find yourself acknowledging that it is a dangerous country and that many travel warnings have been issued, but you think Hey that is what I am called to do (in a real macho, super faith way). When the reality of going to the Congo comes you start to acknowledge those stupid travel warnings and one day it hits you that you are kind of afraid. You think, I can really die there. You know that you are not going to (you stand on Psalm 91!) because God has a plan for you. And then you really start seeking God about his plan and will...because if you are out of it you might not be as safe as you think. Reality is a whole lot different than dreams! Good thing God transcends them both! P.S. He can get to speaking any day now! :)

After a great cookout at my Aunt and Uncle's House my family embarked on a journey through West Virginia Jr. (we live in Ohio but this road, a detour from our normal route, was all West Virginia stereotype). On this road we saw some pretty funny stuff (I had my Mom roll'n!...that made me feel good). We saw a normal house with a big, live donkey in its small, fenced side yard, we saw a rundown house with a stretch limo in the driveway (family car), we saw a girl riding a 4 wheeler with a German Shepard on her lap, and finally, we saw a guy in a wheelchair getting ready to mow his lawn!

Hilarious!

Transition, Trust, Self Propelled Mowers (just think about it)* **

*A guy in a wheelchair mowing his lawn...use your imagination!
** My sister is in a wheelchair. I am not a cold hearted person. It was funny!