200 Pound Weight Loss

So I was walking through the MTR (Hong Kong's Subway) yesterday....strike that!

So I was going up the escalator, out of the MTR, yesterday when I saw an advertisement. Let me describe it for you...

1. Really beautiful Asian girl...mid 20s
2. Handsome Asian boy (not as handsome as me though) - They are facing each other
3. The doll is in a pair of size 100 jeans...."Fat Jared"* could have fit in these things!
4. Guy is pulling the fabric out as to show how fat the Doll used to be.
5. Doll has a surprised "Oh my....he likes me!" type look on her face. (say the quote in a high pitched, girl voice)
6. In the bottom left corner of the poster (I noticed this when I passed another of these signs) it says something like, "200 Pound Weight Loss!"....it's the only English on the whole sign.

As I ascended the escalator, and the poster reached the corner of my eye, IT caught me! I did a double take and there it stood...The Guy!

7. THE GUY WAS LOOKING DOWN THE GIRLS PANTS!!! You know? The ones that he was pulling out to show how fat she used to be!? Yeah, he was looking down them! And I can almost guarantee she didn't have on another pair!

I was appalled! I was hit with subliminal Sex advertisement ("Sexertisement" if you will) and I didn't notice it at first! Besides that, this boy was looking down the pants of my future wife! She was pretty, OK! I wasn't having it! So I...

1. Went and tore the advertisement down!
2. Was seen by a police officer
3. Got beat up by a police officer
4. Was taken to jail by a police officer

...I'm just kidding! That story stopped at "I was appalled"

anyway....the morals of this story are....
1. Check the eyes of your man!
They better be looking into the window of your soul (eyes), at Jesus (sky), or at his future resting place (the ground).

2. Don't go on a diet!
If the girl would have still been fat there wouldn't have been any slack in those jeans for the perv to look down!

3. Don't trust Asian advertisement!
When was the last time you've seen a 300 pound Asian woman who needed to lose 200 pounds ?! They eat rice....not lard!

Sexertisement

* The subway guy....the guy who lost all that weight by only eating subway sandwiches that didn't have anything good on them! You know why he put a little of his weight back on? He added flavoring!