Roxy Vega Johnson

My cousins just had a baby! Her name is Roxy Vega. She was 8 weeks premature. She is beautiful!

Here is the story of me visiting her (at least the important part)...

So while my family and I are visiting Jon (my cousin), Liz (his wife), and the baby at the hospital yesterday we encountered one of the worst security guards ever. Let's just say that this guy wont be joining the police force any time soon! CSI?...yeah, his dreams are over!

Now you may notice that although I am only a couple of sentences into the blog there is already a hint of bitterness and anger in my type-voice. You see, here is the deal.

Following our entrance into the hospital we come up to the security desk, the place where visitors are required to act intimidated by a flashlight/rent-a-cop (a job that I actually wouldn't mind having in the present). This is also the place where these entirely overdressed, not-real police officers crush little kids dreams of seeing their baby cousins (Bryce wasn't allowed to go back...He was not pleased!) and where "old enough to go back" people receive their name tags, connecting them with the family.

Following the "copish" guy passing out name-tags with the wrong room number on them to my mother and sister (there was more than 1 Johnson in the maternity ward...that's why we gave a first name). Can you tell that the anger is building as I approach the climax!? Following the wrong number writing contest Bobby Bad-judgment makes the worst observation mistake of his life!

Up to this point my mother had already identified herself as "I am an Aunt", in order for Danny Dumby to mark that down on the name-tag, and had also established that my sister and I are "cousins". Well, it came time for Sammy Stupid to make up my name tag and what does he write down in the "name" part....UNCLE!!!!! That means that he thought my mom and I were an item! What the heck!?

Thank you Demi and Ashton for being awful people!

Needless to say, I quickly, very quickly, corrected the fine gentlemen. "I'm a cousin!"

I don't know if he was convinced but if he was, he sure didn't act like it. Here is the deal, he was either 1)Not Convinced, 2) Lazy, or 3) A terrible speller because Steven Spell-check wrote down "Cus'n".

I was not happy!

My mom was in heaven.




p.s. I am not really as bitter as I write....I was kind of upset though! I forgive Randy Rent-a-cop for his mistake. I don't mean all of those mean things I said about him either. They were for effect and sweet alliteration!

Gross