Urine on the seat. Those four words have imprinted an image on the minds of every person who has read them. An image of disease, pestilence, and world war, all of which take place on your bottom. Luckily, for many, you do not have to live in this harsh reality of having to deal with this problem on a daily basis- for you, it stays just an image. For the rest of us, the not so lucky, we deal.
Seriously though! The toilet bowl is about 500-1,000 times the size (depending on whether it is one of the super elongated ones) of the average stream of pee. With this in mind, how does a guy completely miss the water and coat the seat in his own urine!? While the seat is up mind you! Now, I am not coming to you as someone who is batting 1000 here. I have had my share of seat-assaults.
When I was 5!
In all honesty I still occasionally miss the mark and the ricochet effect often comes into play... BUT! in the case of an all out seat assault (one in a million) it is cleaned up...well it used to be cleaned up.
After a couple of days of having to wipe the seat down with wet toilet paper and then having to line it with its brother, dry toilet paper, I have become fed-up. Kind of like my mom when I would continually get on her nerves (man, I can back-talk with the best of 'em). I don't care any more.
"What is the moral of the story?" you may be asking.
The moral is this.
Quit peeing on the toilet seat, because if you don't I will purposely miss and you will get my pee on your back side!...to the point that your butt will be wet for the rest of your life! And everyone will call you "raisin butt" (kind of like your fingers after being in the bath tub too long). And you will need thousands of dollars worth of counselling from their insults. And while you are being insulted your butt will fall off, because everyone knows that if your skin stays wet for that long there has to be some serious damage.
"Ewwwwww" I can hear it now. That is what people will say!
I told you I was fed-up!
There is good news though. All of this can be avoided if you would just concentrate, quit watching the fan, or whatever else needs to be done while relieving yourself. Or sit down like a girl! (in America, because in China girls don't sit down...nobody does, unless you fall...squatty potty!). Just do whatever it takes, please!
Potty Etiquette
1 comment:
I think you're just reaping what you've sown!!
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